No Life Rehearsals

Live, Love, Laugh–Your Life Depends on It

I Want to Consciously Uncouple From [fill in the blank]

on 26 March, 2014
Broken heart
Foter / CC BY-SA

Leave it to Gwyneth Paltrow to try to put a positive spin on the state of her life and pretend she’s not getting [whisper here] D-i-v-o-r-c-e-d.  How Holly Holliday of her!  In case you didn’t get that reference, maybe you should think about putting Glee on your Netflix streaming list.  Just a suggestion.

So to recap if you’ve been living under a rock for the past few days, Gwyneth and Chris Martin are calling it quits.  But, rather than call a spade a spade, and in this lovely era where celebrities must do things differently than the rest of common folk(i.e. name their kids Apple, Blue or North), their announcement wants everyone to know they are “conscious uncoupling.”   

Now, I normally love WORDS and applaud new creative uses of the English language, but this made me laugh out loud (and not in a good way).  So, is this a case of a divorce by any other name promises not to be as nasty?  Or, have they really taken pretensiousness to a new level and think that only you “little people” have divorces?  We get to consciously uncouple.  

I want to give them both the benefit of the doubt and given Gwyneth’s “new agey” spirit with holistic this and juice cleanse that, this may be consistent for her, no matter that it comes across to the rest of us as a completely highfalutin, la-di-da way of saying the D word.  However, can any of us really picture the Coldplay frontman ringing his mates and telling them that he’s consciously uncoupling from the lovely Ms. Paltrow?  That surely would elicit responses ranging from “What are you on about?” or “Are you barmy?”  Yeah, I’m just not buying it.  This is Gwyneth all the way.

Pretentious or not, it seems that the rest of us want to get in on this action and consciously uncoupling is not just for divorce anymore.  That was so 12 hours ago! Some of my favorite tweets:

@cagfoto When I mentioned #consciousuncoupling to my wife she went and got the pink fluffy handcuffs from the secret hiding place…

@crisXmusic #ConsciousUncoupling: Watching Closely & Losing A Finger While Chopping Carrots

And, my personal favorite (in light of my own recent addiction)…

@ramsaywoodside I may have to “consciously uncouple” from Candy Crush #ConsciousUncoupling

Do you feel the need?  The need to consciously uncouple from something in your life?  I want to hear!  That’s what the comments are for…c’mon don’t be shy.


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