No Life Rehearsals

Live, Love, Laugh–Your Life Depends on It

Know thyself and to thine own self be true….

© zcool.com.cn

© zcool.com.cn

How many of us in our dating life “pretended” to like camping or feigned enjoyment when watching sports programs to please a guy who’s first and only love was the Boston Red Sox, New York Giants, L.A. Lakers, etc.  How many Moms on the playground have lied about how much television their children watch or how much mac n’ cheese their kids eat to impress the other mothers.  What do these women have in common?  Being something you’re not to make someone else like you.  Why?  Why?  Why?  Like that children’s rhyme–she swallowed the spider to catch the fly but I don’t know why she swallowed the fly….

When you lie to your date, you’ve compounded one stupid thing on another to “catch” a guy but just like the rhyme, it doesn’t work!  Be yourself.  If this relationship turns out to be serious, you will either have to fess up or “pretend” for the rest of your life–neither is a great option.

Women, of all ages, tend to be highly critical of themselves and often seek perfection.  Is this some innate part of the female species or is something more sinister like the media to blame? Remember when Jessica Seinfeld paraded around touting the “perfect” solution to get her kids to eat vegetables—trick them.  She spent hours preparing various vegetable purees which she would then “sneak” into the dinner meal.   Why is the notion of perfection a complex solution to a simple problem? Regardless, the patterns are set, and it’s up to you to fight the self-doubt and love your true self—Kraft mac n’ cheese and all.

 

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Decoding the Break Up

We’ve all felt it—that feeling of déjà vu. Like you’ve been here before. And you have.

Although men try to make it sound original, unique, and personal, it’s just mutton dressed up as lamb or in this case bold faced lies dressed up as truth or justifications. It’s the same break up you’ve been hearing since high school. Is it because they lack originality as a species? Or is there some breakup playbook circulating around that you don’t know about? Either way, the same three unoriginal breakup techniques are regurgitated ad nauseum:

Technique #1: Ignoring her/treating her badly until she either gets the picture or calls you to break up. Affectionately known as “the Blow Off.”

Men have mastered the art of ignoring a problem in the hopes it will go away—take going to the doctor or dentist. So this technique is both unsurprising and ineffective; yet men still cling desperately to it in the hopes that it will one day work. When confronted, the man may try to convince you that it’s a good idea. He may even attempt make you feel dense or dumb by saying “You knew it wasn’t serious,” or, “I never said I was looking for a relationship.” Do not fall for it. Men are masters at the art of mixed signals. They’ll passionately argue for one thing, all the while believing something completely different.

Technique #2: Telling her that she is too good for you and she deserves someone better.

We are more likely to discover the cure for the common cold than discover why men think this is a legitimate or even believable reason to break up. First of all, they say they’re breaking up with you because you’re awesome. Are we supposed to believe men are simply being magnanimous? That men are doing this for your own good? Second, this reason is ludicrous, given that most men believe they are the greatest thing since JFK, Jr. They must learn this technique early. All it took was one pimply faced boy to say to the crowded gym locker room, “Tell her she’s too good for you man, chicks can handle that,” and the female dating population’s fate was sealed.

Technique #3: Saying he’s just too busy right now to be in a relationship, or he isn’t ready for a commitment.

This is the double-edged sword of break up techniques. You may be tempted to convince him that you feel the same way and you could just “date.” This is delaying the inevitable. He’s not looking for a modification of the terms, he wants a complete termination of the dating contract.

All this comes down to one simple rule of thumb: When in doubt, he wants out.

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